We Shouldn’t Have to Teach Women to Survive—But Here We Are
Disclaimer: The following addresses violence and abuse, which could be triggering to some readers.
Laken Riley’s killer was sentenced to life in prison. Her story, like so many others, serves as a sobering reminder that women are not safe simply living their lives.
There is a part of me that hates the fact that Strong is Beautiful exists. I hate that I felt the need to create something to educate women on how to protect themselves—knowing it still might not be enough. I hate that, during my in-person workshops, I talk about ways to leave evidence that could help identify an assailant if the victim doesn’t survive.
This reality is a heavy weight to carry. It shouldn’t be this way. Women shouldn’t have to learn how to be constantly aware of their surroundings, how to recognize potential threats, how to create safety plans, or which physical techniques to use in specific situations.
But here we are.
Why? Because we, as a society, are failing to address the deeply rooted societal, cultural, and systemic issues that allow violence against women to persist.
The Core Issues We Ignore
Gender Inequality and Toxic Masculinity
Society perpetuates gender inequality, placing women in subordinate roles that make them perceived as easier targets. At the same time, toxic masculinity pressures men to dominate or assert power as a measure of their worth. This imbalance sets the stage for violence.
Victim-Blaming
We live in a culture that asks women what they were wearing, why they were there, or what they did to provoke an assault. Nearly 60% of Americans believe women are partially responsible for being raped if they are intoxicated, according to a 2018 survey by Stop Street Harassment. This mindset shifts the blame from perpetrators to victims, silencing many and allowing offenders to go unchallenged.
A Culture of Normalized Violence
Violence against women is so entrenched in media and culture that it’s often romanticized. A 2021 report from the Geena Davis Institute revealed that in popular films, men are portrayed as aggressors in intimate situations 6 times more often than women, reinforcing harmful stereotypes.
A Failing Justice System
Accountability is rare. Less than 3% of rapes result in felony convictions, according to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), that means 97 out of 100 rapists will not spend time in prison for their crime. Lenient sentencing and case dismissals send a dangerous message to perpetrators: the system will protect you, not your victims.
What Needs to Change
Imagine a world where:
Women are no longer viewed as easy targets because we’ve dismantled societal norms that perpetuate inequality.
Men feel free to express emotions without pressure to dominate, redefining masculinity as strength through respect.
We stop blaming victims and start holding perpetrators accountable.
And better yet, a world where:
Violence is no longer trivialized or glorified in our media.
Legal systems prioritize justice for survivors, with harsher penalties for offenders and robust support for victims.
What I’ll Keep Doing Until Then
Until we make these cultural changes, I will continue teaching women how to advocate for themselves and how to stay as safe as possible. I will keep educating them on situational awareness, self-defense techniques, and creating safety plans.
And I’ll continue using my voice to remind men to do better—to be better. Not just for the women in their lives but for all women. Be the example young boys need to see of what respecting women looks like.
Change isn’t impossible, but it requires collective action and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths. Women shouldn’t have to learn how to survive. But until society learns how to protect them, I’ll keep teaching them how to fight back—because their lives are worth it.
This is a fight we all have a role in. It’s time to step up.
